Don't move them too early
The right reasons to move to a big bed: they're trying to climb out of the crib, they've outgrown it, you need the crib for a new baby, or they're consistently waking themselves by hitting the sides. The wrong reasons: a milestone birthday, a relative's opinion, or a toddler who has suddenly become very attached to the idea of a 'big bed'.
A child still sleeping beautifully in a crib is a child who should stay in one for now. There is no prize for moving early.
Prep week
- Set the bed up in their room days before the first night, so its novelty wears off while it's still decorative.
- Keep the same bedding, pillow and mattress position. Familiar is the whole point.
- Move the bedtime routine into the new room, unchanged in every other respect.
- Child-proof the room properly: sockets covered, furniture anchored to the wall, anything dangerous out of reach. Assume they will be up and wandering at least once.
- Put a gate at the door or a soft barrier in the doorway if you need one. A closed door is fine too — it is not cruel, it's a boundary.
The same silent return, with more steps
The mechanics are the same as the crib version: no lecturing, no negotiating, no lying down with them as the default. Walk them back to bed, calm and uninteresting, and leave.
On the first few nights, expect to do this ten times. By night four it's usually two or three. If it's still ten on night ten, you're probably adding something — a chat, a cuddle that turns into a settling, an argument. Strip it back to the body language version: hand on shoulder, back into bed, goodnight.
Protect the naps
The freedom of a big bed ruins naps before it ruins nights. Keep quiet time in the same room, with the same timer, and the same rules: you don't have to sleep, you do have to stay in. If naps fall apart for more than a fortnight, move bedtime earlier rather than trying to force the nap back.
When to call for backup
If you're three weeks in and the nights are worse than they've ever been, it's usually one of three things: the move happened too early, the room isn't safe or familiar enough, or the bedtime has drifted late while everyone sorts themselves out. All three are fixable — and all three are faster to fix with a second pair of eyes.